Please understand that this is not fishing for compliments and/or an ego boost.

As I was up until 5 a.m. trying to finish up the blogs, I realized something: I’m tired of doing this.

I really am. FIVE YEARS, doing this every single day, and I feel kind of unappreciated.

I’ve looked at other blogs that do similar things. Firstly, they’ve all been much younger than we are. Secondly, They don’t update frequently (once or twice a week is a BUSY blog). Most of the time there’s not even an actual caption with what they post (which puts them squarely in a gray area for fair use). Almost everything they post is a submission, so they don’t even have to take the time to search something out. I’m not criticizing them. There’s room for plenty of blogs, and they have a different “schtick” than we do. I enjoy reading them! I like seeing what other people think up.

The thing is, we’ve put a lot of time, effort, and money (we own every single one of the books that we post, unless it’s a submission) into producing these blogs, but we get very little feedback. We appreciate each and every reader. We try to take the time to respond to everyone who talks to us. We try to cultivate a personal relationship with our followers. We seek out people who post on “our” topics.

Our note count doesn’t reflect that. Our number of followers doesn’t reflect a fan base worthy of 5 years worth of work. (Please don’t tell me it’s because I sometimes post personal or unrelated things. I’ve checked out other blogs. I know they do that, too. And, often times, a lot more frequently than we do.)

I get that it can sometimes take a while to make any type of endeavor a success. Well, we’ve put in 5 years of effort, and that’s a lifetime in the internet world.

So here’s the deal: convince me it’s worth the effort. Convince me that being up until 5 a.m. looking for quotes and thinking up captions and trying to entertain our fans is worth it.

Because I’m just plain burnt out.

— The Wife

ETA: We LOST a follower a minute after I posted this.

ETA: And lost another.

…That’s because they’re BLEEDING.

"She initiated the kiss and it was like triggering off an explosion. Right there in the middle of the room, he seized her tightly in his arms. Their mouths merged and ground against each other before parting, using only their tongues which met in a sweltering, moist tango."

The Proposition — Lucia Jordan

Her groinal gravitational pull was great.

"Hell, looking around, every dick, cock and prick got glued into her as they noticed the atmosphere shift too."

Bound — S.N. Garza

aradiantsun:

She gets it.

Heh.

aradiantsun:

She gets it.

Heh.

badromancenovelquotes:

badlitmakestheworldgoround:

image

Bernadine’s has always had a thing for trees. Has she finally found a tree that’s the one for her? Fingers crossed things get filthy!

the perfect book to read after watching guardians of the galaxy i reckon. 

(suggested by the lovely jadziwine) (also closeup of the cover because it’s a work of art)  

Read More

Read this. It’s wonderful

We need m/m tree erotica.

It should be called “Manroot.”

violation-arachnid said: does ice cream make it act up too? >:

Ice cream and milk are the two worst offenders in the dairy section for me. There’s nothing else to take away from it. Say I eat some pasta with a cream sauce. The sauce has the pasta absorbing (and “bulking up” what might otherwise be filled with more sauce), AND the sauce itself is cooked, which breaks down some of the lactose and casein, so it’s a little easier to stomach.

These foods aren’t likely to cause serious physical problems beyond *extreme* discomfort and literally hours upon hours in the bathroom. And even the grease will cause discomfort, cramping, and a lot MORE time in the bathroom, but won’t make me critically ill.

No, it’s the vegetables that do that. I may give in to dairy once in a while, knowing I’ll suffer, but when I’m willing to suffer for a SALAD, then it’s time to worry. lol

theahole said: lactaid doesn’t help?

If I take enough, I can get away with eating small amounts of dairy, especially if it’s cooked (raw dairy is the worst). So if there is not a lot of cheese on the pizza, I can still eat it in very small amounts, to only minor discomfort. But when you combine the dairy with the grease from the pizza, it’s a lethal combination. I will indulge maybe 2 or 3 times a year. I know it will make me sick, but sometimes it’s just worth it!

Oh, I’d also want mushrooms and onions and green peppers on my dream pizza.

And, like, 4 different types of cheeses. And a garlic glaze on the crust. MMmmm… Lots and lots of garlic.

theahole said: what’s you favorite pizza?

Being severely lactose intolerant, I don’t get to enjoy pizza much. When I do, I like it to have a hand-tossed crust. I want a layer of chunky but slightly sweet marinara sauce. I like a variety of cheeses. And a LOT of meat. Pepperoni, bacon, sausage.

And if I eat that, I will be SO SICK for literally DAYS. 

But if it’s made right? If the chef knows what they’re doing? It’s worth every minute of agony.

J******!! - 11/22/2004 (Some names redacted)

shit-my-mom-said:

Hi, I wanted to let you know that “Jennifer’s Father” had J****** to go with him to try to kill the deers, and had given him his rifle gun. They did not find any deers, and could not shoot any. J****** had taken that rifle to that man not long ago, for he had it for many years!! Closing now. LOVE, MOM

I have no idea why my mother sent me this message. The Jennifer in question is my brother’s first (ex) girlfriend. They lived in a small town in Florida and apparently he went hunting with her dad at some point?

I’ve got no clue.

Is it just not as funny to everyone else as it is to me? I mean, sure the whole decay of mental acuity is disturbing. But C’mon! She sent me a message about my brother’s ex-girlfriend’s father!

Since this is the closest I’ve ever been to being drunk or stoned…

And I’ve got no idea how long it will last…

Take advantage! Ask and and all personal or weird questions!

I am currently hallucinating

It is very, very odd. Everything’s moving. My laptop is moving away from me while I try to use it. And then when I put my fingers on the right keys to type, the keys keep moving before I can hit them.

And the screen is making a frowny face at me.

slash-is-my-weakness86:

badromancenovelquotes:

badlitmakestheworldgoround:

image

Bernadine’s has always had a thing for trees. Has she finally found a tree that’s the one for her? Fingers crossed things get filthy!

the perfect book to read after watching guardians of the galaxy i reckon. 

(suggested by the lovely jadziwine) (also closeup of the cover because it’s a work of art)  

Read More

Read this. It’s wonderful

OH MY GOD! #theperilsofpenelopepitstop I think this may top the weredolphin smut!

Wait until we get to the were-hedgehog.

The BBW were-hedgehog erotica.

badlitmakestheworldgoround:

image

Bernadine’s has always had a thing for trees. Has she finally found a tree that’s the one for her? Fingers crossed things get filthy!

the perfect book to read after watching guardians of the galaxy i reckon. 

(suggested by the lovely jadziwine) (also closeup of the cover because it’s a work of art)  

Read More

Read this. It’s wonderful

theahole said: I did own it, but it was rapey, racist and sexist, so I threw it away.

As long as it’s an accurate quote, we don’t care what you do with it. :D

A poop deck joke just seems too obvious. But, still… poop deck.

"Her touch at the nape of his neck, sharp fingernails trailing along his spine, soft, warm pads on the small of his back, strong digits grasping his flat, firm buttocks made his being soar like a schooner caught in a squall. Then she located his main mast and, with small, sure strokes, began to hoist sail."

Reader submission by theahole
Uncle Walter cannot verify ownership of submissions, but he’ll take your word for it.

Shelter #18: Taboo Territory — Paul Ledd

One of our Facebook readers asked for an illustration.